DUH Week

I am like the Queen of Brainlessville this week!

1) The other night, I was trying to video the lightning on the horizon with my iPhone, while Lauren was driving us to the mall. I tried THREE times, but the screen was just dark. I couldn't see anything! It was really weird.

I figured out the next day that I had the camera reversed, facing me in the dark car, instead of out the window.

2) First day of work, two minutes before I wanted to leave the house, I went into my bathroom to put some product in my hair. I squirted it OVER my hand, straight onto my pants. Had to iron new pants that had been folded up on the floor, with tags still on them.

3) When I met with the CEO of my company my second day, he told me about his career and all the companies he's owned, and then immediately launched into, "Do you remember Powerhouse?" This was the database software I used to use, back in the early 90s at the old company, where he was the CEO and I was a DBA at the time. We were the only company using it in our entire industry, and it was fine, but a tiny player in a market where Oracle was (and still is) king.

Me: I remember.
CEO: I bought it!
Me (WHY?!): Really?
CEO: YES!!
Me: Wow!
CEO: I got it for $400!
Me (OMG, a whole company for $400. Probably a bad indicator of future success...): WOW.
CEO: I know!

This is when I suddenly realize he's talking about the software package itself, NOT the Cognos Corporation that owned the product. Oh, man.

4) My first two days of work, I wore business attire. Everyone else was more business casual, which is actually the dress code when clients aren't in the office. The third day, since I had figured it out, I was nicely dressed, but wearing jeans.

Everyone else? Business attire.

There were clients in the office. The notification had gone out at the end of the previous day, after I was at home without access to my work email. (That has since been remedied.)

I had self-guided training for half my day, and IT training the other half, so I just planned to hide in my and the IT guy's offices all morning. I went to the admin's desk to turn in a form and who was standing there?

The CEO.

Better than the client seeing me, but not by much.

IT Guy asks later if the CEO gave me "the look." I wish I could show you all "the look." Priceless. I don't know if I got "the look," because I avoided all eye contact.

5) Going somewhere on MoPac (it's an Austin freeway) the other night... Jeff, Lauren and Laura in the car with me. Jeff driving.

Jeff: I think this place is actually on MoPac.
Me (a bit distracted at the moment): Well. It's on the feeder road.
Carload of people: *crazed laughter*

What. It is!


Oh. And I finally remembered what Laura said that was so dang funny last week when a meme asked the last time I had laughed really hard.

Sadly, I can't say it here. Hit me up on IM for the deets. *snort*