Hyster......... something

Two weeks ago, on the same day my mammogram showed something (eek) that turned out to be nothing (whew), one of my girlfriends had some tests run and found out that she has a pre-cancerous uterine condition. I took her out to dinner that night and we chatted about it. She told me that she has to have a hysterectomy.

She said she wasn't planning on telling her mother about her lab results OR the hysterectomy. I said that her mother would want to know. She said she didn't want her to worry. We had the whole conversation you might imagine. She asked me if I would tell her mom, if she didn't. I said I would want to tell her, but I probably wouldn't be able to pick up a phone and actually do it, against my friend's wishes.

I very strongly encouraged her to tell her mom, because if her mother found out later, or if, Heaven forbid, something further happened and she needed the support, her mom would feel so awful that she hadn't known all along. Plus, you have a whole trust issue after that. And what are moms for, if not to worry about you and take care of you when you need them? That's the very reason we have Supermommy powers.

Then, as we're chatting along about whatever, she asked if I was up and around the day of my hysterectomy (elective, a few years ago because of obnoxious periods from Hell, totally worth it). I said they may have gotten me out of bed once at the hospital that day, but not really "up" until the next day at least.

She was confused.

Friend: They told me I would be up and around that afternoon, but I can't go back to work until the next day.
Me (shocked): The next day?!! Man, insurance companies are really running the system. Now we have drive-through hysterectomies?
Friend: Yeah, it's a day surgery.
Me: Are you sure you're having a hysterectomy? I was 3-4 days in the hospital and about another 3-4 days of recovery mode at home. And I'm pretty pain tolerant. Then you're not allowed to even drive for six weeks.
Friend: Oh. Hmmm... Maybe the doctor didn't say 'hysterectomy'?
Me: Maybe 'hysteroscopy'?
Friend: Maybe. I guess I need to call the doctor back.

Yeesh. Not that a hysteroscopy sounds as fun as a barrel of monkeys, but there is quite a difference between that and a hysterectomy.

It's been two weeks and she hasn't called the doctor back yet, much less made the surgery appointment, whatever it may be. Now I AM threatening to tattle on her.