"Areas"

Last week, there was a commercial for one of those med spas that does various beauty procedures. At the end, they said one area was $1200, with a minimum of three areas.

Jeff: What are "areas?"
Me: Like... armpits...
Lauren: (cringes)
Me: ... Crotch...
Lauren: *audible gag*
Jeff: People need their crotches lipo-ed?

Oh.

Liposuction. I thought they were talking about laser hair removal. Hey, some people may be thin everywhere but their armpits. Don't make fun.

   
Saturday 9: Sweet Caroline

1) "Sweet Caroline" has been sung during every Boston Red Sox home game since the 1990s. (Click here to watch Neil Diamond lead the fans in the first game after April's bombing.) Do you know the words well enough to sing along?
Of course!

2) Do you have a favorite major league baseball team?
If I had to choose- Texas Rangers. (Sorry, Houston.)

3) Budweiser is the "official beer of major league baseball." Do you reach for a cold beer on a hot summer day?
Not usually. I reach for iced tea.

4) Every season, more than a million Vienna Beef Hot Dogs are consumed by baseball fans at Chicago's Wrigley Field. When you get a hot dog, what do you put on it?
ketchup, mustard and dill relish

5) The odds of a fan in the stands being hit by a baseball are 300,000 to 1. The odds of winning the lottery are (approximately) 1 in 12,000,000. Do you play the lottery?
I have played twice. I'm not into the lottery at all. I think it's a great way for the states to make money though.

6) Though his song has been adopted by faithful Boston Red Sox fans, Neil Diamond was born and raised in New York City. Have you ever visited The Big Apple?
Four times~
a) Once when I was in middle school, with my mom and aunt. We saw A Chorus Line from the third row, in its original run. AMAZING.
b) Cathy and I went my freshman year of college. We stayed with my friend Patrick's brother in his faboo, tiny apartment in Manhattan. Patrick was visiting his brother at the same time. His brother took us all out to The Palladium, which was the absolute best part of the weekend. It was a brand new club at the time, opened by the guys who ran Studio 54. Patrick's brother was an investment banker and knew everyone everywhere we went that weekend, including (most importantly to us at the time) the door guys at The Palladium. So we did one of those "pass the long-ass line to the dude who decides whether or not you're cool enough to get into the club, smile at the guy and get waved in" deals. One of the coolest moments of my life. I'm just sayin'. I won't ever forget that. We also went to the top of the World Trade Center that trip. I won't ever forget that either.
c)Once with Jeff, when I met my gorgeous, NSYNCy girlfriends (Angel, Wendy, Kerstin, Jennifer and Karla) and their spouses/boyfriends to see Joey Fatone as Mark in RENT. That trip Jeff and I also saw the original cast production of Hairspray with Marissa Jaret Winokur and Harvey Fierstein in the lead roles and Matthew Morrison as Link. I met Tom Wopat that weekend at our hotel. He had left his jacket under the chair where I was sitting, when he had moved from there to the bar earlier in the evening, and came back to get it.
d) The last trip was with Jeff and Lauren, and we saw the original cast production of Legally Blonde: The Musical with Laura Bell Bundy.

Oh, I also love the restaurants and the sights and all the buildings and lights and everything. I just tend to identify my trips there by musicals. :)

7) Baseball players are notoriously superstitious. For example, the Cubs' Matt Garza eats Popeye's fried chicken every day that he pitches. Joltin' Joe DiMaggio touched second base with his foot every time he ran on or off the field. Do you have any superstitions?
Nah.

8) A ball signed by Babe Ruth can fetch tens of thousands of dollars at auction. Have you ever asked a celebrity for his/her autograph?
Tons of times. At some point I got rid of most of my autographs from high school and college. Biggest mistake EVER! But I still have the memories of meeting great celebs- mostly my favorite musicians. Laura's favorite autograph story is when I had to cross about 30 yards of rough between the greens at the Dennis Quaid charity golf tournament we were working, to get Bob Schneider to sign my hat. He was starting to walk towards his golf cart, so I had to yell after him, "Bob! Bob!..." as I was sort of skipping through the grass. Laura saw it all. Not my proudest moment, but I got that autograph!

9) Baseball means summer and summer means sun. Are you working on a tan, or do you slather on the sunscreen? 
I wish I were working on a tan, but I have to slather the sunscreen.