Annoying Software Updates

I feel like I'm constantly badgered into updating software lately. I get it from my PC, my netbook and my iPhone. Between this and having items plugged in all over the house recharging all the time, technology is beginning to give me a tic.

Every day it's something. On my phone, it's usually apps I don't even use that are pushing notifications they need to be updated. If it's Facebook or WWF, great! If it's Flixter, eh. I've started deleting apps I rarely use, even though it would be nice to have them, because they are too frequently buzzing me to update.

On my PC, it's iTunes, Windows, Java and Adobe Reader, followed by other individually less frequent, but collectively annoying software. Holy bajeebus, can't these programs go even a month without popping up on my taskbar to be updated?

I want to tell these programs to auto-update in the middle of the night or something, but my only option is whether or not to check for updates automatically. Turn that off, and you're having to remember to manually check every program website for updates.

I'd also like to tell them no, when they ask to update, to leave the updates for the next time. Windows lets you do that, although it lays on a huge guilt trip about being irresponsible by not keeping your computer safe from viruses and other malicious attacks, and insinuates you probably weren't held enough as a baby.

iTunes for PC likes to give you an option to not update, but then nag you every 24 hours until you do. Actually iTunes itself has a "don't ask me again" button, but the dang iCloud and QuickTime updates are relentless! And sans said button.

I never did figure out how to get my phone to stop bugging me about updating to iOS 6, so I finally just updated it. I'm convinced that was the point all along. While we're talking about iPhone, I also don't like to have to log in every single time I download an update. Let me turn that off and just download when I say so.

In the end, the real problem is the frequency of software updates. Do Microsoft engineers need to sit around all day, every day, fixing tiny Windows bugs and shooting out the fixes, which always require a reboot (gah), every 2-14 days? Really? Whatever happened to patches and updates that came out every six months to two years? If you were having problems or heard about some improvement, you hunted that patch down and downloaded it and installed it. And you were happy about it.

Shout out to Firefox on getting it right. Firefox allows you to choose to update automatically, as all things should. Thank you Firefox, for working as software should work. You are setting an example for the world.

If programs won't let us give them permission to just update at will, then I wish to be able to set a time, like every 6 months, where the computer checks all my programs for necessary updates. Maybe I'm missing some functionality for several weeks, but that is alright with me. If there is some serious security fix- and I mean SERIOUS- I'm looking at you, Windows updater- then it can let me know immediately. Otherwise, I'll catch it all one day when I get the massive notifications for all my software at one time.

Also, stop installing shortcuts on my desktop, updaters. I will never need to be a double-click away from Quicktime every moment of my day.

And that final message you get from most of these installers, right after you update--

"Checking for updates..."

What the...??! Don't even think about telling me there are updates to the updates.