Laura and My Uncle from Chicago

Don't remember if I ever wrote this story down, but it continues to be one of the funniest stories ever, from a dismally sad time:

When my mom died, my uncle Rob from Chicago was staying with me. Jeff and Lauren were on vacation with the in-laws and I had stayed home since mom was in the hospital, so I had been alone that week. We had to go to the nursing home and pick up all Mom's things the next day. Laura came with us to help pack.

It was just before Christmas, and one of the things someone had given my mother was a Christmas mouse on a plastic handle that played a very annoying, high-pitched Christmas-y song when you pushed a button. There was no way to stop it, and it ran for like 3 minutes at a time. It kept going off if someone bumped it. Everyone was laughing at how irritating it was. I tried to give it away to anyone on the staff, but no one would take it, of course. I threw it in a box to give to someone later.

On the way home from Wimberley, the thing starts playing from deep in the box in the back of my minivan. "Neeee-neeeee-neee-nee-eeeeeeeeeeee!..." It stopped. Then it started again. "Neeeee-neee-neeeeeeee!..." With all the stress of the past several days, it was irritating the ever-loving snot out of me. I had been feeling so numb for days, and this was the first time I had really just gotten ticked. I pulled over in a gas station parking lot and flew out of the car to throw the toy in the big trash can there.

Laura asked Robert how he came to be in Chicago after growing up mainly in Texas. Robert is soft-spoken anyway, and all Laura could hear while he was talking was "Neeeeee-nee-neeeeee-neee!......" Meanwhile I was angrily tossing Christmas decorations everywhere in the back, digging for this stupid toy. "Neeeeee-nee-nee!..."

Finally I found the thing and slammed the hatchback closed.

"...And that's how I got to Chicago," said my uncle.

When she told me about it later, I could not stop laughing. We just talked about it again last night! Too funny.